Mistakes were made and lessons were learned.
Just as I was kicking off this monthƵs plan to learn about and eventually play pickleball, a box showed up at the newspaper offices.
In the middle of January, IƵd been drawn into a dialog with a representative of Hometown Hero, a company that made an Ƶalcohol alternative.Ƶ These were THC-infused beverages that someone might have instead of a beer or cocktail.
The drinks had several selling points. They were supposed to taste pretty good Ƶ not unlike a Snapple lemonade or sweetened tea. They also promised to help you relax and maybe give you something like euphoria, but without the nails-on-the-chalkboard headache in the morning that sometimes comes with a night out drinking.
It was all legal, too.
But not sold in West Virginia Ƶ yet.
Still, I told the representative IƵd give their products a try if the company wanted to send something to the newspaper.
They just had to meet my deadline.
But they didnƵt. Shipping took a while. They missed it by about three hours.
So, I wound up with an assortment of THC-infused beverages sitting in the backseat of my car for several days. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them, but they were there.
I told some of my friends about them. They told me to try them or at least give the cans to them.
I moved them to the bottom shelf of my refrigerator, next to the box of mixed greens, and ignored them for over a week.
So, on a Friday night, after I got in from the gym and was thirsty, I grabbed the peach flavored drink, opened the can and tossed it down like it was a Gatorade.
IƵd had a particularly lousy workout. Just because you go to a gym regularly and learn a bunch of exercises doesnƵt mean youƵre good at them.
It was a pretty ƵoffƵ day. I felt bad.
I didnƵt want a beer, but relaxing sounded good. So, I texted a friend and told him IƵd had one of the drinks.
ƵWell, what do you think?Ƶ he texted back.
I shrugged and started to make dinner.
ƵIt was OK, I guess,Ƶ I said. ƵI donƵt feel anything, but I donƵt think it does anything right away.Ƶ
ƵWhatƵs supposed to happen?Ƶ
ƵEuphoria, maybe? I guess IƵm supposed to be a little high?Ƶ
Truthfully, I had some trouble describing what I was going for.
Like millions upon millions of others, I dabbled with marijuana a little in college but was never a fan. I did hang out with plenty of people who were really into it, but I think I just never preferred the high.
My body would hum. The inside of my head would feel like it was packed full of marbles. IƵd smile like an idiot for a minute and then go lie down somewhere.
That was the end of the party for me, which was never much of a party.
ƵWell, is it working?Ƶ He asked me.
I texted back, ƵMaybe, I feel a little something?Ƶ
I wasnƵt sure. So, I finished making dinner and then sat down on the couch to eat and waste the rest of my evening watching ƵGame of ThronesƵ for the third or fourth time.
Ƶ I watched the sweeping saga of the fighting families of Westeros, I caught up with my friend, asked how he was doing, what was new with him.
And then I was stunned Ƶ not stoned, but stunned. Tingly numbness swallowed me up inside and out. I didnƵt feel like moving and wasnƵt sure if getting up from the couch was even a good idea.
Texting took a lot more concentration and so did watching a show about dragons and magic.
ƵSo, hey,Ƶ I texted back. ƵYeah. IƵm gone.Ƶ
The evening passed in a grimy haze of backstabbing and dragons. I have no idea what actually happened. I couldnƵt concentrate.
Three hours later, I felt solid enough in my footing to turn off the television and go to bed.
In the morning, I looked over the paperwork, visited the website and realized IƵd used the drink incorrectly (yes, it was just the one).
YouƵre supposed to have a little and then wait a while to have a little more, probably as the concoction begins to take effect. This way, you can manage your individual feelings of euphoria, well-being or awkward dullness.
My mistake had been to drink it like a Diet Mountain Dew. I just poured the entire contents down my throat in two or three long slugs.
IƵd had too much, too fast and blown a hole in my evening.
But I didnƵt feel hungover. I did have some vivid dreams about disappointing members of CharlestonƵs City Council over something to do with water recycling. The dreams were real enough that when I woke up, I had to remind myself that IƵve never been to a city council meeting, let alone talked to any of the council members about recycling water.
I wasnƵt sure that this was even something I wanted to do?
Still, I canƵt say that I was my entirely my best the next day. I felt a little rundown and didnƵt make it out to try pickleball.
There was plenty of time, I figured.
A few days later, I decided to try another can of the Hometown Hero brew. I had the blueberry and followed the directions as best as I could manage. I had about half a can and then sipped the second half for a while after I felt like it was taking hold.
It really didnƵt matter. I shouldƵve stopped at half a can or maybe less than that because the end result was that it laid me out flat on a couch.
I slept off and on while, again, the TV played.
Around 11 oƵclock when the drink began to wear off, I got up and went to bed. I slept like a stone and got out the door too late the next morning to make it to the YMCA to play pickleball.
So, I have a lot to catch up with as far as pickleball, but I did learn something about Delta-9 and THC infused drinks.
These things are definitely an alternative to alcohol but are maybe not what youƵre looking for if the point of Dry January is to stay sober. You can get just as tipped over by having one of these cans as you can by shot-gunning an entire six-pack of Budweiser.
IƵd probably recommend them to people who like marijuana but just want to give up smoking.
